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She's Pregnant...
!?
So you think she might be pregnant.
Here's some quick advice that may be of benefit
to you right now:
The Do's
Listen and know the situation involves more than
just you.
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It involves your partner
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It involves a baby...your baby
Stay Calm. She needs your support now more than
ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are
BOTH parents, and regardless of your
relationship in the future, you will have to
work this out together.
Talk about it - not only with each other, but be
prepared to talk with parents and others close
to the situation. Hiding the news from people
who can genuinely help you only increases the
stress.
Gather all the facts. Get all the information
and seek help so you can help make a decision
that works for both of you.
Express yourself honestly - it's normal to have
feelings of anger, frustration and fear. But
make sure she knows she is not alone, and know
you are not alone.
We are here to help.
The Don'ts
Don't bail. The more you run from this, the
harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
Don't pressure her. Applying pressure will only
push her away, possibly into a regretful
situation. You will do well to work together as
a team.
Don't forget. You have a very active role in
this situation. Listen to input as well as give
your thoughts. Seek help from someone your
trust, and talk to more than one person as well
as your partner or girlfriend.
CPRC is here to help you as well as your
girlfriend. Call us for a free, confidential
appointment.
What's Next ?
Your girlfriend, wife or partner has just told
you she is pregnant or thinks she is, and you
need to know how much of the decision-making
process involves you.
Too often, the “guy” has been characterized as
someone who fails to accept responsibility, only
offers ultimatums, or simply sneaks out of town.
That stereotype becomes an accurate portrayal
only if you fail to step up to the plate and
learn more about the role afforded to you under
current laws and processes.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions and get
information. We are here to help. We even have
guys you can talk to so call us!
Call us today, we are here to help !
What about her choices?
There are a few things you should know. First,
whoever is pregnant has the say in what happens
until the baby is born. Even though you are the
father, your partner is the one who makes the
final decisions regarding the pregnancy.
This does not mean you have be silent, or not
involved with discussions about your futures;
you are a part of the future and so it is best
for you to know all you can about what you can
do and what may happen.
Once you have a baby there are many things you
as a father will need to know whether or not you
actually parent or not.
The Saskatoon Pregnancy Options Centre can help you
as you think about what you want and what you
may need during this time.
Call us or stop in and see us, no appointment is
necessary.
What happens to me?
What happens to you depends on you.
There are circumstances that also affect what
may happen to you.
Sometimes you do not have a choice in what
happens, sometimes you do. It is up to you to
ask for help and find the answers you need for
your life. In this process you may be able to
find help for your partner too.
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How your life may or may not be changed depends
on decisions made surrounding an STI or
pregnancy.
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In a pregnancy as the father, your rights are
limited until the baby is born, but this does
not mean you do not have responsibility, and it
does mean you also can’t do something in the
meantime.
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A girl or woman has all the say in what happens
to her body and to the baby she may be carrying,
until the baby is born; if you are concerned
about this it is important to talk, talk, talk
to your partner and seek advise from someone you
trust.
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It is important to find someone you can trust to
talk with, you probably have more people who
care and who you can talk to than you think.
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Do not exclude parents, teachers, counsellors
and those who truly care about you and your
future. It may be hard to tell them, or talk
with them at first, but most of the time they
will be your best support and can be of more
help than you know.
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Sometimes it is helpful to find help outside our
circle of friends for fresh perspective,
especially if you feel you are being pushed in a
direction you don’t want to go in.
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Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. It is
your life.
Quick Advice
SO
YOUR PARTNER HAS JUST INFORMED YOU SHE IS
PREGNANT…
So, your partner has just informed you she is
pregnant…and you want to know how much of the
decision-making process involves you.
Too often, the “guy” has been characterized as
someone who fails to accept responsibility, only
offers ultimatums, or simply sneaks out of town.
That stereotype becomes an accurate portrayal
only if you fail to do your part and learn more
about the role afforded to you under current
laws. Call us at 1-306-665-7550 to get answers
to your questions. Take a look at the four
situations where you need to know your rights
and responsibilities.
Parenting
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Am I required to pay child support?
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What custodial (when do I see my child) rights
do I have as the father?
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How is the situation affected if paternity (is
the baby really mine) is questionable?
Adoption
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Does the province require my signature to
complete the adoption process?
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Can I participate in the selection of the
adoptive couple?
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In an open adoption, am I able to maintain
contact along with the birth mother?
Abortion
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Am I required to assist with expense of an
abortion?
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Do I have any rights if I do not support the
decision to terminate?
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Can I force my partner to terminate the
pregnancy if I’m not ready to parent?
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If you want to know what rights and
responsibilities you have as the father, call
us.
Paternity Testing
The Saskatoon Pregnancy Options Centre has
information relating to Paternity Testing, and
can also give you resources for further
information and help. We have the support you
need and the confidentiality you want.
We can put you in touch with professionals who
can assist you with your questions. Don’t wait,
call today.
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